I have dealt with a wide range of traumas. In reflecting on them, I was shocked to think about the fact that I would place the verbal ones as higher than even some of the physical ones. (Of course not every one.)

I think this is important to acknowledge to be more afraid of the things we say to others. No, I don’t want you to be scared to talk to people. But the things we say in anger or the comments we make without considering others are things we should handle with great responsibility.

There are certain things you should never say to someone. Conveniently enough, they seem to come out when we are overwhelmed with anger. This is a caution to truly control your tongue because you have no idea the impact those comments may have on others for years to come. James 3:8-9 emphasizes this clearly, “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.”

There are words that have haunted me for 16 years.

There are words that I know will haunt me for 16 more.

They are not truth. They did not come from God. They were not said in love. They hold no real power.

But I can tell you firsthand that they have left deep marks and scars on my mind and my experiences of love.

While the purpose of this post is to share caution, I want to also end on hope.

Every single lie I have battled believing about myself God is ready to destroy with truth. The words that people say to us have no real victory when we take them back to the Lord himself.

The need for God to rebuke those lies with truth has also lead me to desperately chase after Him. This isn’t your free pass that it makes it okay to say those things, but God can use the most broken things to bring us the closest to Him.

God’s grace covers even the horrible things you have said to others. It doesn’t exempt you from needing to repent and ask for forgiveness, and it may not release you from a changed relationship due to your choices, but it does set you free from needing to live in shame, or in fear of eternal punishment. None of us are perfect. We have all left scars on someone else’s heart. The hope of salvation is that there is healing and redemption.