Why are you living the way you are?

Over the years some of the different pieces of advice I have received have led me to recognize a common theme: if you are trying to live out a Christian faith for other humans you will find it dissatisfying.

I think we can (although not always) be very well-meaning as Christians when we try to tell others things we think they should be doing, but the lifestyle of a Christian should come as fruit from relationship with God, not out of a sense of rules. It is the concept of grace versus law yet again. Oftentimes we can get too concerned with others outward behaviors that we miss their heart.

I’m going to say this gently but firmly: people are not drawn to Jesus when they view Christianity as a bunch of dos and don’ts, they are drawn to Jesus when they meet Him.

I am going to use modesty to illustrate this point (side topic, I plan to have a series on modesty down the road, so please don’t think this is all I have to say on the topic…I have quite a lot).

When I was growing up I was very concerned with dressing modestly. Quite frankly, I idolized it. My obsession with following the right “rules” for modesty inflated my own ego and did cause me to judge others. I would simultaneously experience jealousy over what another girl was wearing while puffing myself up like a Pharisee for not wearing what she did.

Then there came a stage of time in my life where I look back on some of the choices I made to wear with regret. Not shame - I do believe that I needed to walk through some of that in order to break a variety of lies I believed, but recognition that those were choices I made out of a selfish approach with almost no value for modesty.

The way I dress today is neither of those 2. I have learned to take my thoughts on modesty to the Lord. I know there would be other Christians who disagree with where I consider my personal conviction of modesty on both sides.

When I was younger, externally I was checking all the boxes, but my heart attitude was ugly, and I was doing what I was doing to please others, not from a place of growing with the Lord. The way I choose to dress now comes from a relationship with God and an actual desire to glorify Him with my life. I also know now that my own personal convictions may change as I grow, and as long as they are changing from a deepening of my relationship with God, not a reverting to either of my prior ways of thinking, then that is okay with me.

No matter how good of a performance you give, there will always be a difference between being on fire for God and feeling forced to do something. You can’t fake fruit forever. If you feel like you are trying to paint your fruit on, let go of the things you are holding onto and go chase after who Jesus actually is. The burnout you are feeling does not stand a chance when it comes face to face with who God actually is. Grace brings freedom, not requirements.