The end of the school year always brings its own range of emotions with it. Summer is my favorite season. I love the ability to savor days in the sun reading and slowing down the speed of life.

But I truly ache at the end of a school year.

While I know what is coming is good, I don’t want to say the goodbyes that come.

I know they are inevitable. As hard as I have fought to keep time from passing it continues, ever marching.

Every student I have had the honor of teaching has left their fingerprint on my heart.

It truly is a privilege to have a role in their lives. I don’t take it lightly that I am given the trust to have even a small role in shaping them.

I know that summer is beautiful, but personally, I start it with real grief. I miss the smiles, voices, and laughs.

This year did not look the way I expected last August.

There was beauty in it though. I know that the past few months of my life will leave a real imprint on my future and the person I am continuing to become. I am grateful to know that because of the difficulties this year held I had an even deeper appreciation for the days I had. I know that I truly tried to soak up every moment I could, and I am grateful for that knowledge. Teaching has a unique duality to the balance between permanence and temporary.

I ended this year with the privilege and joy of being a teacher to 204 students.

204 names.

204 faces.

204 voices.

204 souls each individually created by the Creator. Souls who are known and loved by Him just as intimately as I am. I wish I knew how their lives would unfold. I want to be able to stay in their lives and I realize that there is a high probability I may not get to see those students again. But the lessons I have had to learn this year bring a greater sense of peace for me this year than last.

I realize that just like I may never see them again, I don’t know that I won’t. God coordinated circumstances that I had another year with students I thought I had said a permanent goodbye to. Who am I to declare this goodbye?

I realize that even though I may not be able to be there for them, the One who loves them unconditionally will stay by their side. The same God who holds me close to His heart is holding them the same way. Yes, it is an honor to be able to care for them, but my care and presence is nothing compared to His. How proud must I be to question His love?

I realize that while I don’t know what their future holds, He knows every detail. God is never surprised or caught off-guard by our future. There is nothing coming in their lives that He is not already with them for. What more do I need to know?

Yes, I have grief at the end of the year. I also have peace knowing the One who holds it all. My sadness can find rest in the truths I know.

He is good.

He is loving.

He holds the future.

He is faithful.

He is unchanging.

He is good.

Through it all I will be able to say that God is good.