As humans we were intentionally designed to live in relationship with one another. Often, however, we can create a sense of identity out of our relationships with others. Whether that is a significant other, family member, or friend, who you are is not dependent on the role or presence of another in your life.

There can be a sweetness in the inherent desire we have to be known as someone’s…that desire is to indicate to our identity as being tied to our Father and Creator, it was not meant to be found in other humans.

When you find your identity in who you are to another person, you are living in a state of codependency. You are shrinking yourself to be one-dimensional, dependent on that other person for truth about yourself. You are minimizing who God created you to be, and idolizing who God created others to be.

This is something I have certainly struggled with in the past. One of the reasons I struggled with it was due to my own insecurities. I viewed myself so lowly that I was dependent on any love I felt like I had. I was placing my value as a person on my contribution to a relationship. If I wasn’t spending time with that person, I would feel anxious over my own value.

We were never made to question our identity or worth because we were never made to look for those in sources other than God.

You are called to let go of those idols. You are called to retrain your brain to find your identity in the right places. You are called to pursue wisdom.

Jesus found his identity in one source alone. He knew that he was the Son of God, and there was nothing else that mattered. His identity was solid and so He didn’t need anyone else to validate for Him who He was.