Contentment
The holidays are often a challenge for finding contentment. In the middle of a time that should fill us with deep gratitude we instead find it all too easy to turn to comparison. We covet what others have and feel a sense of competition regarding what our lives should look like.
It doesn’t change from childhood to adulthood. One day you are coveting that Barbie dream house, the next it’s the girl who got a rock for the holidays. Whatever the item is, being consumed with comparison is the fastest thief to our own joy.
I think we all know this - writing it isn’t speaking anything new or profound, but that doesn’t mean truth doesn’t need to be repeated.
Our minds are filled with the same lies over and over again, how much more important is it then to re-preach truth back into them.
One approach that we can use is the reminder to ourselves that we don’t know what their life actually looks like. I know in my own life, some of the darkest seasons of my life I have dressed up and painted to look wonderful. The good that we see in someone else’s life doesn’t mean there isn’t hidden pain. Whether the struggle for contentment is materialistic, financial, physical, or relational, what we see of someone else’s life is truly only a glimpse.
But what do we do when someone else really is getting all the things we want and isn’t experiencing some deeper suffering? What about the times where we have fought against pain for years and are still waiting for answered prayers while watching others who truly have had a life with objectively less suffering (at least so far). Is God any less good when He chooses to pour out goodness and blessings in tangible ways on others while we still suffer?
In my own grappling with these questions I have found the following truths to be comforting to my own soul.
My story is not theirs.
If I am getting to know God deeper then it doesn’t matter what else someone else is experiencing.
No good thing does God withhold.
My story is not theirs.
This truth alone doesn’t necessarily alleviate the sense of bitterness or envy that comes at times when comparing to others lives, but for me it is a starting ground. It does not benefit me to compare my life to someone else’s, because I am not living their life. The only life that I should be concerned about is the one that God has called me to live faithfully. His choices to write different stories does not call into question His character.
If I am getting to know God deeper then it doesn’t matter what else someone else is experiencing.
I obviously love it when life is going smoothly. I am filled with great joy over the fact I can move my body and feel as though I recognize myself in the mirror. I am filled with deep gratitude over the relationships that I have in my life today. I am filled with a sense of awe at the goodness of God I see on display in the life I am currently living.
But in those dark seasons of life I learned more of who God is than I could have imagined. As someone who has already walked through some incredibly deep pits I can say that I would not undo those things because of how they lead me to know God. I still grieve the sin that was done, but I see how God was using those things to bring me to Him in ways that I question if I would have had I not been through some of what I have.
Whatever my life looks like, whatever season I am in, I want my focus to remain fixed on growing closer to God. If I can honestly say that I am growing closer with Him then there isn’t anything more I could need or ask for. That focus makes comparison shrivel up incredibly fast.
No good thing does God withhold.
This is NOT the prosperity gospel. There are certainly MANY good looking things that God does withhold. What we can rest in here is that God knows what is actually good for us. If it will bring us closer to Him and better glorify Him, He isn’t going to withhold it from you.
Yes, there are things that we can wrestle to recognize how they could be anything other than good. We view physical health as good. We view healing for broken relationships as good. We view marriage as good. We view children as good. We view friendship as good. We view financial security as good. And I do think those things often are good, because they come from the Lord. But even if He is withholding one or more of those currently does not mean that He is punishing you or keeping good from you. If that is good for you, He will give it at the exactly right moment. Having people who will weep with you can be incredibly precious in these seasons, but there can also be deep comfort found in knowing that He will not withhold if it will truly be for your good.
The only real defeat of jealousy is focusing our eyes on God. Who He is and what He has done for us is all that we need. When we find our joy in relationship with Him it not only becomes easier to stop lusting after someone else’s life, but it actually begins to become easier to celebrate with and for them. Gratitude is our greatest weapon.
