The Answer is No
It is really difficult when God’s answer is no.
Sometimes that no is a “not yet” and sometimes that no is a “that’s not part of your story”, but we don’t always get to know which category a “no” from God falls into. I think in that space it becomes really hard not to run with things in our own human ways.
When God says no, we sometimes jump to the dramatics of it’s never going to happen.
A relationship ends? That was the one.
Never had a relationship? God can’t answer this prayer.
No interviews from job applications? I’m never going to get in.
Lost job? That was my dream job.
Health issues? I’ll never have my body back.
The list goes on and on.
We think we’re being punished, or that God is never going to answer those prayers. When our focus is on our experiences, we allow it to overshadow our view of God. Whatever you are looking at will always appear biggest - when you set your eyes on your circumstances, they will seem insurmountable.
An alternative perspective, however, is when we choose to hear God’s “no” and decide for ourselves that it’s just not yet. The greatest danger here, is that we continue to idolize something that may not be in God’s plan for you.
The loss of a relationship? He might be calling you to singleness.
A job not coming? He might be redirecting your career.
Health issues? He might not heal you.
This is not to depress or discourage you. It’s a reality check to take a pause and look at what you are currently believing about God. You likely have different requests of God that you are hearing His no in different ways.
If you only believe God is good if He gives you everything you want, then you really aren’t interested in who God is.
The assurance you have regardless of why God is saying no is this: God is good and He has good for you.
He knows the longings of your heart and He will provide for them in ways you could never imagine. Even if His answer to your specific request is no, He has more for you. There’s no way to “hack the system”, but I can tell you that as long as what you are holding onto is an active idol blocking you from God, His mercy will prevent Him from giving it to you. And a word of caution: if you have been idolizing something and God suddenly seems to give you exactly what you want - be prepared for the pain that comes when He lets go and allows you to discover how empty those idols can be.
Instead of chasing what you want and trying to control your life so that you can make it easier for God to work, just focus on trusting Him. That isn’t to say don’t work towards those things - don’t suddenly read this and become a hermit because God is in control of your providing for your relationship status, or stop applying for jobs because God will find you one anyway, or quit pursuing healing because God isn’t limited to doctors. I just want to encourage you that within all of that, take the time to remind yourself that He is in control, and He is faithful. When your focus stays locked on that, the rest becomes a whole lot more insignificant.
You might be single for the rest of your life and learn more about God through that than you ever would have if you were married. What more could you ask for?
God might have the most amazing person waiting for you who will change the way you know Him. What more could you ask for?
You might never get to work in that field and discover that God was calling you elsewhere the whole time and find deeper passion and meaning in your life than you would have in that career. What more could you ask for?
God might be hiding you until the exact right time so that you can know His character better and praise Him more for what He did. What more could you ask for?
You might never get healed but develop the most powerful testimony that brings others to Christ. What more could you ask for?
God might heal you and you might get to worship Him and be evidence of His power. What more could you ask for?
Are you listening to God’s no, or are you trying to write the rest of that sentence on your own? Are you willing to trust that God has better for you than you could imagine?
