Too Much

I may have what people call a “big personality”. There have been many seasons where I felt insecure about it. In some seasons of my life I have attempted to shrink so as to not be “too much”. But within the past few years I have started to really celebrate my personality.

As with all personality types, there are times where your personality needs to be checked. Not because your personality is a problem, but because we are all sinful and naturally inclined towards our own pride. However, being a “big personality” does not mean there is something wrong with you, or that God made a mistake in making you.

Your personality was created to reflect different attributes of God.

The enthusiasm you have for life is a reflection of the joy He gives. He is a God who delights in His creation. We are designed to praise Him.

The excitement you get to talk is a reflection of His design for community. He created us to be in relationships. God himself exists in 3 parts who are all in community with each other (forgive my terminology here, the trinity is still very complex to talk about).

The opinions you feel so strongly about are a reflection of His sense of justice. He feels far stronger than we ever do about sin. We are designed to care about righteousness.

God did not make you to be shrunk.

He does not look on you and shake His head. He doesn’t think of you as awkward. He isn’t cringing over how much you talk. He doesn’t wish you would act differently. He loves and celebrates who He made you. He smiles over who you are.

He doesn’t only celebrate the big personalities, He celebrates every kind.

God made extroverts.

God made introverts.

God made the yappers.

God made the listeners.

God made the ones who jump and dance.

God made the ones who sit and watch.

God made all the Myers Briggs personalities.

God made all the Enneagrams.

God made the people who are career-driven.

God made the people who are relationally-focused.

God made each and every person with distinct traits that combined make them who He designed them to be.

There are ways we should all push ourselves and grow. Our personalities, while designed to glorify God, are not flawless. We still are called to pursue godliness, which will inevitably mold our personalities.

The past few years have brought a lot of healing for me in my relationship with myself. I find delight in my big personality. I love the fact that I find joy in so much of life that I cannot help but dance. I recognize that who God designed me to be glorifies Him. There are still things about me that I want to change, but those motives are drastically different. No, I don’t always want to be the center of conversation anymore, but not because I’m trying to shrink who I am, but because I want to actively pursue humility and make sure I am lifting up others. And yes, there are times where I think being the center of the conversation isn’t a bad thing for me to be. Looking at my friendships and relationships, I think there would be a lot lacking if I stopped being who God made me to be. There is beauty in how opposites attract, and if I tried to change to be more like others that would be lost. My pursuit for who I want to be is now driven by pursuing growth to look more like Jesus, not less like Marissa.