in my villan era (I said no)

I tend to consider myself a decently self-aware individual. I got HUMBLED when I realized a few months ago that I am a people pleaser.

It’s funny because if I had looked at my behaviors and motivations on paper, I would have instantly told you that person was a people pleaser. I just was so convinced I couldn’t be one that I didn’t pause to reflect.

There are times when I can do the same exact action for a healthy motive. Being a people pleaser does not mean you always have to eliminate every action.

But you do have to check yourself.

Why are you doing that?

Is it really to love that other person well, or to make yourself worth being loved to them?

You do not need to make yourself valuable.

Hard truth: people pleasing is really just the pretty wrapping paper we put on manipulation.

The actions we are doing, and the motives may seem better than other manipulators, but people pleasing is about designing specific situations to make a person view you in a specific way. Manipulation is trying to control the other person’s perception of you. People pleasing is trying to control the other person’s perception of you. It’s just putting a pretty bow on the root issue.

I am not going to explore the reasons that people are manipulative for a few reasons. 1. I’m not an expert. 2. There are far too many reasons for me to stick in a blog.

However, I believe a lot of people who are people pleasers are attempting to earn love. They are trying to create their own security. They are trying to create their own worth.

People pleasing is never going to make those go away. It is never going to give you what you are looking for.

But what you are looking for is out there.

That love, that security, that worth - they are all found in God.

His love for you is beyond measure. We can never comprehend the love He has for us.

Finding ourselves in Him provides us with a security that we can rest in, exactly as we are.