Grief and Letting Go
Recently my sweet great-grandmother went home to be with the Lord. The time since she left us has honestly been bittersweet. Mimi lived to 101 and was ready to go to heaven. I have the complete joy of knowing that she is seeing Jesus’ face and free from the pain and suffering of this world.
There is a huge comfort for me in the midst of the sadness. I have such peace knowing where she is.
Even though I have a deep peace, I still feel sadness at the thought of a world without her. That’s part of love. It’s a beautiful thing, even when it hurts.
Grief is a funny thing. It hits at random times. It isn’t one-size fits all, rather an ever changing thing, like rain in different seasons. It isn’t a bad thing, even though it holds pain.
We tend to view grief to two different extremes. Either we coddle it and allow grief to become a blanket excuse for no longer participating in life, or we dismiss it because we fear the feelings it brings.
Grief is not the enemy.
When we give grief full control of our lives, it erodes everything. We lose who we are and the beauty of life. We wallow in depths we were never meant to stay in.
When we bypass grief as if it is an optional, we only delay the inevitable. By pushing it off, we create a buildup of emotion that will only fester like a wound. Eventually, that grief will come to the surface and it won’t look pretty.
Like all emotions, we are meant to feel our grief and move through it. Our emotions do not define us. They do not dictate how our days go. There are not good or bad emotions, they just are. All emotions have purpose and all emotions are capable of drawing us closer to God. What we need to be mindful of is our responsibility and ownership of those emotions. You are not controlled by your emotions, you are in control of them.
Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean you can just box up your grief and throw it away, it means that when you feel your grief you can give it it’s space, and allow it to pass through you. You don’t need to fear feeling it, instead you can allow it to be present and then move past it.
Grief will come at different times. You can’t just check it off a to-do list. But it doesn’t mean you are trapped experiencing it forever. It will change over time and it will come with different frequencies. But the reality is, grief isn’t a bad thing. Grief is a continuation of love.
