loving you is actually not easy

An uncomfortable conversation to have, but loving someone with trauma is actually not easy.

Individuals with trauma are every bit as worthy of the deep, stable, gentle love that anyone is worth, but there is a reality that loving them - truly loving them, is not simple.

I think it is not easy because you can’t succeed at it unless you are invested in it. When you love someone who has trauma it is important to learn how their mind works. The little things that cause spirals often don’t make sense unless you fully know their situation and experiences. Trauma victims live with an increased level of fear and are generally much faster to be sent into fight or flight responses.

From my own experiences, however, I can say how rewarding it is to watch the healing process for someone you love.

Not only that, but I cannot begin to explain to you how beautiful it can be to be loved by individuals who have walked through true horrors. I believe there is something about having lived through some of the most wicked and depraved experiences that gives trauma victims a gift to see others. Some of the people who have loved me the most beautifully have been those who I know have seen the face of sin.

I have friends whose stories have broken my heart so deeply for the pain they have lived. It is impossible to hear the situations they have survived and consider anything other than the mercy of God to be the reason they are out of those places today. In spite of all of that pain, they have shown the most tender, most intentional, most intimate love to me and so many others. Walking through life with them has been one of the clearest experiences of seeing the face of God I have ever had.