Offenders
I used to get really confused when I was younger how people who did others wrong seemed to just get away with it. As I’ve grown older, I’ve heard people often comment that the offender still has to live with what they’ve done. Initially that sentiment brought me comfort, until I considered how much more it seems that the offenders move on with life unfazed while the offended is left with the aftermath.
I think a lot of people wrestle with watching people who have clearly done you wrong get to continue on unaffected. We should be bothered by this - we were designed to live in a world of justice and we were designed to be treated with respect as image-bearers, but sin has corrupted all of that. Sometimes the way people will treat you will be just wrong.
Sure, sometimes the people who do you wrong might actually lose sleep over what they’ve done. They might regret their decisions. They might care about the pain they caused you.
But sometimes people are just fools.
Proverbs is full of wisdom, and oftentimes has back-to-back verses that almost seem to contradict each other. The discussion around fools is very telling.
I think there are two categories of offenders - wise ones and foolish ones.
The offense itself isn’t what makes that distinction. Our actual offenses against others come from our sin nature - that’s a separate matter and frankly not worth dissecting because all sin is sin. The offender’s character and response are what sort those who are wise from those who are fools.
A wise offender will be haunted by what they did.
A foolish offender will be ignorant.
Wisdom doesn’t mean we don’t hurt others. It doesn’t mean we don’t still sin. Wisdom is simply learning from and taking responsibility for those decisions. Wise offenders will reflect on their choices and wise offenders will be repentant. These are the category of people who will apologize, because character is more important than pride.
Fools will continue about their lives as normal. They very well might not even realize the damage their choices cause. No apology ever comes, because their self-delusion will prevent them from having the humility to recognize their sin.
Like it or not, we are all offenders. There is someone, somewhere, that you have wronged. If you can think of those people immediately, that’s a good sign you might not be a fool. As offenders we have a responsibility to do what is available to us to make that right. I say what is available, because the reality is you might not be able to undo or repair what damage you caused. Sometimes the person may not even be around to apologize to, and what then?
You might not get to give every apology you owe this side of heaven. You do have the opportunity to learn from your sin. Yes, sometimes that can restore a lost relationship, but not always. Your decision to be foolish or wise can only really be made from a desire to glorify God with your character.
The reality is, neither the wise or the foolish offender gets away with it. The power of the gospel is that when we believe that score is no longer counted against us we are no longer held captive by shame, but all debts are settled. Whether the offender is wise or foolish, if they are a Christian there will be a day where they will be humbled by the understanding of the sin they put on Christ to cover. There will be a day where they will face what they did. The sadder category, are the offenders who are not Christians, because one day they will pay for their offenses themselves. When we truly face the reality of our own sin and the grace of God, we should be begging for the redemption of others.
There is always a cost to sin - the question is who pays yours?
